12.30.07
Behave As If Everything Matters
Recently, I had the fortunate opportunity to attend a luncheon where Gloria Steinem was the keynote speaker. I was familiar with her legacy and importance, but I did not realize just how blown away I would be hearing her speak. Her common sense approach to life and gender equality reinforced my own personal beliefs. I’m sure everyone has heard of Gloria Steinem, but if you haven’t, she is an American feminist icon, journalist and women’s rights advocate whose dedication to equality has spanned my lifetime.
During her speech, she spoke to the necessity of balance in a woman’s life, and how most women aim for perfection. We try to be the best, both at home and in our careers. As a single woman with no children, I am finding that my admiration grows more and more everyday for women who have successful careers and successful family lives. I just don’t know how they do it.
But, the quote that resonated with me after hearing her speak was when she said, “Behave as if everything matters.” It was a line said in passing that maybe only a few picked up on, but then I realized that it is one of the keys to success. By placing value in something, we are increasing its importance. I’ve found that in my career, it’s never the big things that lead to our success or demise; it’s a lot of little things that add up over time.
The statement strengthened the importance of living in the moment. We all have dreams and goals and have played the “if only” game; “if only I had more money,” “if only I had a new job,” or “if only I lived here.” We need to have a level of satisfaction with what we have and where we are and give it the importance it deserves. Our current state matters just as much as our future state because if we don’t work with what we have, we’re never going to get where we want to go.
All of us want to better ourselves and we look for opportunities to grow personally and professionally. One of the ways is through networking events that allow us to expand our social and professional networks. When it comes to meeting someone new, we must “behave as if everything matters.” We need to be present at that moment when we are talking to someone for the first time, and we should not be thinking about the next thing we need to do, or the next person to meet or what’s on the menu for dinner.
Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, was the master of engaging someone he just met and placing importance on the interaction. He stressed listening as the most important skill, which I know is something that we can all work on. Carnegie’s other fundamental pieces of advice include:
1. Become genuinely interested in other people. - If you’re not interested in or don’t like other people, then social networking probably isn’t for you.
2. Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves. - Whether or not they openly admit it, everyone’s favorite subject is themselves. Ask questions or say “That’s fascinating, tell me more,” it never fails.
3. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. - We all must realize that we have a lot to learn from each other. Take advantage of the learning opportunity by allowing someone else to share as much information as they can.
4. Smile - A welcoming smile is a great ice-breaker.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. - This is probably the hardest to accomplish because it requires tailoring the discussion to the person with whom you are speaking. No one likes to hear a slew of “canned” responses or discussion topics, which can make the conversation feel forced.
6. Give honest and sincere appreciation. - This helps show that you value the person and their company.
After realizing that I need to “behave as if everything matters,” I started listening more and stopped thinking about what was next on my “to-do” list. I realized that by living in the moment and giving those moments the value they deserved, I can accomplish my goals, both personally and professionally. I also realized how many times I caught myself saying, “it doesn’t matter that…,” well, yes, it does matter.
So, be engaged, live in the moment, and behave as if everything matters.
Joanna L. Vahlsing, PMP
http://www.joannavahlsing.com/
(404) 840-6620
jvahlsing@yahoo.com
Sources/Additional Information:
Gloria Steinem - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Steinem
Dale Carnegie - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie
Never Eat Alone – Keith Ferrazzi - http://www.keithferrazzi.com/
